He asked me, “what are you not telling me”
I replied “nothing my dear”
Telling him the truth was something I feared
I decided on that day
To show him how I felt
So I let him undress my soul
And I let him walk on in

He stood inside my soul
Dark and cold
Pictures that used to be filled with life
Laid broken on the floor
The good memories I had, were replaced with pain and hurt
The heart that was once big and bold
Stood locked away in a lit bubble
He walked towards the bubble
And he glanced inside
It was one gleam of light
That caught him in the eyes
It was a memory of us.
The first time we said hello
The warmth and care in his voice
Kept that light lit for so long
He never knew that when she told him she loved him, it wasn’t with her heart but with her soul.
As he slowly came to realize, what her soul barred. He started looking around, and saw more pieces of him in there.
She had decorated her soul with his childhood memories that brought him both joy and pain. She built walls with his horror stories, so he’d never have to deal with them again.
She made a lock and key with his secrets, she buried them deep inside. She built a new heart with his kisses, and that is where her being resides.
He cleaned up and set up some things, hoping the light would spread. He turned around and closed the door and this is what he said.

“I know why you love me. I know how. I know when. But the fact that you love me with your soul, we will never end.”
All I could do was smile with comfort and relief, because all the things I’ve never told him, he knew and I never had to say a thing.

NamaSlay

My my my, where should I begin Shaped in iniquity born into sin. Father was never around how I wanted him to be & for a long time I blamed myself was blind and couldn’t see. Didn’t feel love from the woman that gave me life. Her & I never got along it was always harsh words, built up hostility, & strife. Feeling like the black sheep of my family, Didn’t surprise me when I ended up in the penitentiary. See I never knew how to properly love Really started to believe there was no God up above. See I was the young girl that was built like a grown woman Which made me desirable in the eyes of grown men & back to back they started coming. No self love or worth didn’t realize the value within myself. Reasons why I allowed guys to use me sexually & place me back on a shelf. Lost & lonely in a cruel cruel world Not knowing or realizing the love I truly deserved. Didn’t care how I acted, cared less on how I spoke Almost seen my last days off some hard laced dope. Raped by who I thought was my sister’s friend During it I really wish my life would end. Withdrew from my family & was always depressed I made myself sick; started having health issues because I was down in the dumps beyond stressed. Because I had so much self hate & built up insecurities I gave birth three times for three different men putting up with all the cussing damning & pure foolery. Accepted lies, disrespect, & all types of abuse Started doing drugs & drinking alcohol daily misuse. My heart was empty & cold that’s when I immediately decided to put true love on hold. First baby daddy held a gun to my head daring to blow my brains out is what he said. He left his mark on me with his hand print he was the first hit to my heart which left a major dent. Second baby daddy allowed his family to disrespect me as the mother of his child. So because I didn’t know how to love properly I attempted to poison him, but it was very mild. Third baby daddy chased me for two months before I agreed to a date. I truly thought I had found my soulmate. Little did I know it was all a facade. He ended up in prison & I found myself playing Bonnie to his Clyde risking it all for a fraud. He was the type that if he couldn’t have me no one else could. I spent many restless nights staring out my window waiting to unload the wood. When I finally was set free I vowed to find myself & walk into who I was created to be. New city new state Looking forward to starting over with a clean slate. Started visiting a place I grew up in. I knew there I was able to forgive myself of all my undesirable sins. Then one day I met this man who captured my soul. With his voice and passion in his words I started to feel whole. I began to feel at peace. Everything I was blaming myself for in my past had cease. I had connected to my confidant, protector, what I thought was an amazing man. I supported him in all his endeavors. I was his biggest fan. Daily conversations & chemistry at its best. My heart beat matched his; I could feel it thru his chest. Every time we saw one another it was an instant attraction. I felt like a giddy school girl who just had her first kiss you could see it in my reaction. I had fallen in love with a man who captured my soul spiritually. A man I could learn from about life but most importantly biblically. As time progressed we started to drift apart. I wondered why, come to find out another female was tugging at his heart. The same way he use to look at me with fire in his eye, That flame had been put out & I was left high & dry. He no longer found the desire to love or help me grow. I was thrown back into the river facing backlash from an upstream flow. Unfortunately I had lost my confidant, but it was bound to happen. See the man I fell in love with so happened to be married. Secrets of us was the most heaviest burden I ever carried. Yes yes we both knew our relationship was wrong, But the feelings I had for him were uncontrollable & so strong. My connector had moved on not only with his wife, but with this other female. The feelings he proclaimed to have for me that ship had sailed. Now, back to this cruel cruel world lost, Promising to find myself by any means necessary, no matter the cost.

~Ariel Mond~

The touch it gives places me in a space of comfort and safety when I am neither content nor protected.

I lay my sight upon its face with eyes filled with pureness and generosity, which can only be given by a true lover or a wolf in sheep’s clothing. 

As the well-known song is played bursting with ready-made promises, I defend its character instantly and put my trust in these common lyrics that tend to attach themselves to my heart like stitches, binding the wounds made by another.

As my tears flood my ears, like the lyrics, feelings of hope and peace wipe them away, giving a sense I thought I lost.

The taste of my sweetness on the lips of this imagination displays willingness to devour all of me with no limits, giving the complacency of love to take a good grip.

With all these senses, I gain remorse and shame, despair and agony, resentment and anger, which cost me my ambition, my confidence, and nearly my life.

This love gave me sense. Sense enough to live, even if it was just a fantasy.

~Ebony D. Miles, The Vision Blogger~

Growing up, looking at love was like a dream
Old couples, in public, made it look like a breeze.
It was the private scenes that made you ask
Is this what I want, is this love I really need?
After not being able to find love in the immediate realm
Love was searched for in outward faces
You know, like the song says,
Looking for love in all the wrong places.
That’s when you encounter physical love
That love that makes you go weak at the knees and melt
That feeling of love that you’ve never experienced before
Where your mind thinks you are going to live life wet.
Then you decide to marry,
not for love, but for life.
You forget everything you’ve seen
and decide to be someone’s wife.
In your mind, you decide
You can do better than what you’ve seen
In your zeal, you talk yourself into
Believing you’ll live the life of a queen
Then reality sets in and you have to realize
Love with marriage isn’t anything you imagined.
It really is like what you’ve seen
Takes such hard work that you ask to be pardoned.
Your divorce gives you back your freedom
Not totally, because now you have children to feed
Somewhere during their raising,
You decide this is the life you were meant to lead.
Now the children are grown, grand-kids a plenty
You pray they find love that is genuine and real
Love they can trust, believe and rely on
Not treat as a transaction on Let’s make a deal.
Being transparent, you’ve been single far too long
Your memories now are just as vivid as then
One day you’ll forget the distorted love you remember
You ask love not to give up, cause one day you hope to let him in
Love that brings a natural chemistry
Love that isn’t just between friends
The kind of love that ignites a spark
Never dims and last until time ends.

~Sheritta E. Johnson

I dream of you in colors that don’t exist
Reminds me of..
You’re a color that doesn’t exist, what are you?
Reminds me of..
The first time I dreamed of you, our bodies melted together to create a custom rainbow filled with every color of emotion to be felt between a man and a woman
Reminds me of..
crying diamond encrusted blue tears over the black void in my mind where my fantasies of you lived
Reminds me of..
wiping away the red love stained words off the white board of my mind to be replaced with the gray of the soulless information I could fill in the time
Reminds me of..
It reminds me of why I just focus on things and understand them better in black and white.
Reminds me of..
reminds me of waking up just in time, in time to realize. That color. So simple. Can define so many moments in time.
It reminds me that time flies
But I’m the pilot
It’s never about the destination
It’s about the journey you take to get there
It’s not about vacations home
It’s about having a life I don’t need a vacation from
It’s reminds me that I’m important
I’m the prize
I’m the golden covered trophy
That commands the attention of your eyes
I’m the rainbow of hope in the sky after a storm of pain
I am the melanin that God dipped his paintbrush in to create the art of land
I am worth taking the broken crayons and melting them back together to create a new color with a new shine
I’m the color that no matter how chipped, how damaged, how broken , I’ll draw just fine.
It’s reminds me that though being betrayed and thrown to the side
I’m still going to find the perfect picture that my creative shape colors inside the lines of
It’s reminds me that just because you took the time to unpeel my paper and start to draw with my colors and allowed my colors to melt in lust over your canvas and casually move to a different crayon
That I still left a mark on your canvas that can’t be erased
It reminds me that
That I dream of you in colors that don’t exist
It reminds me of
You’re a color that doesn’t exist
But so am I.
Well just agree to to coexist in a black and white world.
I just had to see your true colors to see if they had to power to help me illustrate the most creative piece of colorful art in this thing we call life.

~Ego Slayer

Love is…

Honesty.

I thought you meant it when you said you loved me. But my heart is now searching for that love you said would always be mine. Where’d it go? Did I lose it or was it ever mine to begin with?

Love is…

Loyalty.

I thought I could trust you with the most precious thing I owned. Me. I gave you all of me in hopes that I would be enough to satisfy every longing in your heart. But my heart is still yearning for that love from you. As I filled you with me, all of me, I thought in return I would be filled with you, with your love. But yet, my heart still waits for the one thing I’ve always given you. 

Love is….

Enduring.

I thought that if I patiently waited my turn, your love would come to me. Be mine. All mine. But in my waiting my heart is aching. Watching and waiting; wanting and aching. This heart of mine is wanting your love but where is your love? Where is your heart? You said it was mine, but distance now fills the air Distorting the sound of my heart’s connection to yours. I’ve waited for the connection to be restored. That I could hear again your heartbeat in my ears, and it would fill my heart with you. But the beat is so faint, and it seems to be slowing down. Don’t leave me my love. Don’t leave, my heart. Where will the beat come from if it’s not from you?

Love is….

Missing. 

~RAdkison

When will my heart play along to the melodic rhythm of another’s heart beat?

Connecting in a way that speaks to the masses, but only we can understand the definition of what’s really being said.

(Boom Boom…..Boom Boom….Boom Boom)

Simultaneously, the tones escalate to match the aura of our bodies when near, as our chemistry grows out of control to the point of no return.

Wooing me, not only with your touch, but your very presence, your existence excites me.

It ignites the fire within to accept your spark.

The blaze that’s created cannot be consumed.

What we make is magical.

What comes from it is beyond what you can phantom…Close your eyes and imagine the stars colliding together in the galaxy.

Think about what kind of picture that would be.

That’s how I feel after you take me into that special place where I zone out and get lost with you.

You can pull the Kaleidoscope Effect out of me….giving me an out of space feeling….believing I’m so high that I see multiples of me…see that’s the effect you have on me…..So you see the melody that plays within has different components when connected to you….it becomes a symphony creating music for the stars to dance to……

Kaleidoscope Effect

~Kenisha Jones

For some reason, love is running from me.

I can’t even hear my heart for it beats so silently.

After all I’ve been through, I don’t even care anymore.

Every time I try to love, my heart ends up sore.

Someone told me I shouldn’t look for love.

It’s supposed to be sent from God above.

If it came to me, I don’t even know if I would hear the sound.

It would probably slap me in my face because I feel so down.

Why can’t I find love? I believe it’s running from me I just want to know why.

But for some reason, this is how I feel. If God’s Will one day, I WILL reach the sky.

~Octavia Jones