Category Archives: Events

About Me, Events, Motivation & Inspiration, Purpose, Vision

10 Years Later: From Grief to Glory

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Here I am. 10 years later.

Feel free to play the song as you read.

It’s amazing how we all just move throughout this world and you look up and so much time has passed. If you would have told me I would be where I am right now 10 years ago, I would’ve thought you were stone crazy. Amazingly enough, one of the greatest things I love about God is He uses what He trusts us to go through to grow us up and show us how strong we really are. Boy, have I grown up and seen what I never thought I would ever become.

“Mr. Sauls has passed on.” While the doctors are asking me about all of the medication he was on, I scream and hyperventilate while thinking of my children, who I now have to tell that their father is no longer coming home as he always has after going into the hospital.

This day, 10 years ago, changed my life forever. I remember it like it was yesterday. I won’t go into full detail, but I found myself in a hospital waiting room, hearing words I thought I would never hear. “Mr. Sauls has passed on.” While the doctors are asking me about all of the medication he was on, I scream and hyperventilate while thinking of my children, who I now have to tell that their father is no longer coming home as he always has after going into the hospital. After the doctors leave out the room, the only words I could scream in that moment is, “God, I still trust you,” over and over again. I didn’t care who I was disturbing. I didn’t care who tried to calm me down. I had to scream it until I believed it and God has never stopped testing that scream. In fact, I’m being tested in this very moment, but my scream to believe, then, has now, 10 years later, turned into a worship to honor the God who saved my life.

I am currently enrolled in an incredible Bible class with my Pastor, Dr. Robert Bailey, Jr. and “Come Here Scripture Bible Institute” that is not only teaching me how and what to study, but how to effectively apply it to my life and help others on their journey in God. Our class was asked to go back to the time when we were saved and/or got delivered. Now, I’ve been in church all of my life and always believed God was real, but I don’t believe I experienced Him the way I have in these last 10 years. So much went on in my childhood that wasn’t as horrible as it could have been, when I think about it, but it made it hard to see God in those times, for myself. I saw what I was told was God happen for so many people. He became real to me when I felt like I had nothing left and no other choice but to lean and depend on Him. 10 years ago, I was no longer holding onto other people’s experience with God. He showed up for me and showed me who He really was and could be in my life.

I am grateful for a lot of things, but one of the things I am most grateful for is God could have made me anything in this world, but He created me to be a worshipper and a believer in Him and His Word. No matter how late it may seem it took for me to finally learn who He really is, I wouldn’t change the when or how because it all served a purpose.

“Provision doesn’t always look like a blessing.” -Bri Will

My sister, Bri Will, said something one day that resonates with me on a daily. “Provision doesn’t always look like a blessing.” Provision, for me, 10 years ago, came through grief; losing someone I thought I would never be able to live without. Through that grief, I was shown who and whose I really am. I was shown that God had His hand on me all the time and that is why I will worship Him with every breath I am given.

My brother, Benjamin Bailey, who I have learned so much from in these last 10 years about God, praise, worship, and so much more, was given the task, by God, to have Worship Encounters. Himself and other leaders come in to speak on different topics involving worshipping God in a way that is not talked about as often as it should. We are, also, learning how to effectively worship and lead a life of a worshipper of Christ because it’s not just in your song; it’s in your life. For a long time, before I got saved (LOL), I thought worship was just a slow song that made you cry. Through these encounters, that are open to the public, we have experiences that are not always heard of or put together for the reason of uplifting God and reaching those that were like me, who didn’t truly know what worship was. Worship is life and it has been a key to unlock so many eye-opening experiences with God. The worship we experience at these encounters are mind-blowing and pure.

Meet me at the upcoming Worship Encounter.

That next Saturday after my children’s father passed, I woke up that morning, with my swollen eyes, realizing, again, that he was really gone. My mom came in the room to check on me several times, but that one time she came in, we talked about something that immediately lifted a burden from me. She walked out of the room and, in that very moment of peace, I worshipped as I listened to “Moving Forward” by Israel Houghton. It’s like God came in that room and sat next to me as I released my love to Him. Yes, I was hurt. Yes, I was sad, but, one thing was and still is for sure, He came to see about me. Me…

So, where am I 10 years later? I am doing everything I thought I couldn’t. I am raising three AMAZING kids with the help of Christ and loved ones. I am learning more and more about myself daily and addicted to being and getting better with every stride. I am Alive. I am Redeemed. I am Free. I am Saved. I am His and I’ll worship Him forever. I am in awe of Him. He still wins me over.

Events, Motivation & Inspiration, Self-Love

My Heart Matters

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It’s so funny how God works. I tell myself all the time, I’m going to start back blogging and have so many other things going on that I put it off until the next day and the day after that until a whole year has passed. Since New Years’ Eve, I can honestly say, God has been pushing me with a wrecking ball to do those things I keep saying I’m going to do. I know what you’re thinking; wrecking ball may be a little harsh, but God is truly wrecking all of my ways of thinking and overthinking. This blog and this event Lady Tina Armstrong invited me to was apart of that truck with that ball on it. This even tugged on my heart strings, opened my mind to release and receive hearts, and pushed me to release things I didn’t need on my heart. Whew! Let’s get into it.

FYI, if you are from Houston, Texas, that E(ast) and W(est) at the end of an address makes a difference. Let’s just start right there. On the night of the event, I had to work, but was able to get off work in time so that I could be on time. Well, I put the address in the maps of my new car (Yay God!), and proceeded to what I thought was the route. I became so upset when I found I was at the wrong address but I pressed my way to the west side of the strip. As I walked in this valentine-theme decorated studio, first, I noticed the mirrors ALL OVER THE ROOM. I have a deal with them. Mirrors force you to see what others see and see yourself in a real and raw way if you use it properly, but we’ll definitely get to that. The first assignment of the night was to make sure that you knew everyone’s name in the room. There were four tables. Now, one table, I knew every last one of the ladies seated here. I gave my hugs and kisses to my sisters and continued to the other tables to meet the ladies who were going to become my sisters by the end of this night. After the meet and great, I headed to my seat, which was an empty table in the back. I knew I was going to sit here the moment I walked in this room. I was going to sit in the back so I can watch all of the happenings, but if you have ever been to an event put together by Lady Tina, there’s no sitting in the back and not being seen. There’s no hiding AT ALL.

As I got snuggled in my seat, in this area I thought I was going to be by myself in, others came over to introduce themselves and a young lady came to sit next to me. I’ve found that a lot of people, especially Christians, get weirded out when you throw around the word energy, but there was something about this young woman’s energy that drew me to her. Believe it or not, I am not an open person, meaning I’m not the life of the party to strangers, but here’s that wrecking ball again throwing me out there, forcing me to open myself up and leads me to our activities.

At every seat, each young lady had a bowl of goodies and a wooden heart. On this wooden heart, you had to write your name and “I Trust You” using the marker you were given in your bowl. Then, you were to take your heart and give it to another lady in the room. Now, for this task, the amazing part about it, was that I didn’t have to think long and hard about this. I knew exactly who I wanted to give my heart to, but I was in a pickle because I had two people, I wanted to share this moment with. I sat there for a moment, until I heard, “Can we break it?” Lady Tina states, “If that’s what you want to do.” A piece was given to the lady I connected with at the table for two reasons; one being drawn to her and the other being apart of my process of allowing others into my heart and trusting them with it. The other young lady I have known and worshipped with for years and over the last few years, I have been drawn to her throughout watching her in ministry and through our sisters’ group created a few years ago. I am all about learning from others that I see growing in an area I desire to be better at daily and I decided to trust her with my heart from that day forward. Funny thing is, while I was breaking my heart to give my two pieces away, the young lady I had watched for years and had set in my mind to give her my heart, she was bringing me her entire heart. As I am still trying to break my heart, I try to hold back tears because I didn’t even expect to have a heart given to me. It wasn’t because I didn’t feel worthy or up to the challenge, but I just didn’t look for it. As she is handing me her heart, I’m telling her that I was bringing my heart to her. This exchange scooped me up like a bulldozer. Right now, even in this moment, as I reflect on it, I’m still in awe. Both of us, having no idea what the other was thinking, we were both open enough to take that chance to give our hearts away to each other. Whew!

At the beginning of this encounter, there were long pieces of papers stuck to all the mirrors. Each woman wrote their name at the top of a sheet of paper. For our next activity, we were to go around the room and give encouraging words to each lady in the room. You didn’t have to know them personally, all you needed to know was their name, which was learned during meet and greet. My goal with this task was to just write the same thing on all of the sheets, but to my surprise it was almost like how dare I give each and every woman the same encouraging word. Even though, in my mind, it was a generic statement that I felt every adult woman would love to read or at least be able to see every day. Then I thought, would you want your sister or your friend to just feed you just generic words of encouragement out of a Hallmark card. I, also, was reminded of the reason why I enjoy these private encounters like this one. When Lady Tina and other ministry leaders I have met, who create safe spaces for their guests, have an event or encounter and I set my mind to attend, I’m going on purpose. I’m going to be encouraged, uplifted, pushed into my next level of growth. With this, I came to the conclusion that these encouraging words could not be just any unauthenticated words. They needed to be meaningful and hold weight for each and every person in the room. So, I grabbed my marker and went to work.

At the end of this assignment, we were able to take a moment, read all of those encouraging words from our sisters and then, it was time to face the mirror. We read what others seen in us on these sheets of paper, but then it was time to look into your own eyes and speak over yourself. I know for me, it’s easy to read and even hear people tell me about what they see, good or bad, or what God has shown them about me. Easy. But when I look into a mirror and face ME, flaws and all, seeing the things I show people and the things I hide, it’s hard. Even in this moment, I am still unpacking why it’s so hard for me to look at myself and tell myself how I feel about me. Crazy thing is, I really love me. Like, I really love myself, but why can’t I stare HER in the eyes and love on HER. I’m coming to a conclusion that IT’S BECAUSE I KNOW THE REAL. We may not want to admit it, but there are so many people in this world, including me, who can wear a façade like it’s a golden armor. It takes a lot, I know for me, to remove the façade and let people see the real and I do for those I am comfortable around. Since this encounter, I am growing through the task of looking in the mirror every chance I see one and tell myself how much I love her. Pray my strength. I’m a work in progress and I look forward to sharing that triumph with you once complete.

After my mirror experience, we were all given a pillow with our names on them and in that moment, we had “Pillow Talk” with our sisters. All who desired to had a moment to share how they felt in that safe space. It was a perfect lead up to the “Releasing of Hearts”. We all grabbed our markers and heart balloons tied to our seats and wrote what we were releasing in year 2024. My balloon was not filled but I put as much as I could think of in that moment. Amazingly enough, there is only one or two things I remember putting on this balloon. Next, we all took our balloons filled with what we were going to be releasing outside. After a liberating prayer, we released all of the balloons filled with issues we were holding onto, people, places, and things held close to our hearts. We let it all go and stood together as we watched each balloon follow suit in the same direction, never to return to us.

Each one of the guests were asked to bring a scarf to participate in an exchange. All the scarves were placed in the middle of the floor and each person picked one randomly and whoever’s you chose, you covered them with it and spoke encouraging words. It’s amazing how strategic this exchange went. Some exchanges were short and sweet, some were just a hug and private words, but there was one exchange that was monumental for me. There were two sisters who ended up choosing each other’s scarves. This exchange between sisters of endearing and uplifting words made me think of my own sisters, blood and God-given. We don’t get together as much as we should to embrace each other, but at the end of the day, we all know that if we have no one else or feel alone at any time, we will always have each other. Watching this exchange made me realize that I don’t tell my sisters enough how much they mean to me. I don’t tell them how much I value my relationships with them all as often as I should. Just like looking in that mirror to speak life into myself, I believe that speaking life into the people that I love is just as important, which gave me another life assignment.

This impactful encounter took days for me to soak in; from the gifts, to the activities, to the photo shoot, to the moving prayers between the activities, to the words of encouragement, all the way to the dismissal in the parking lot. Everything was needed. Things I learned: you don’t have to know a person personally to give them words of encouragement. When it comes from the heart, God gives the words that need to be spoken. Secondly, mirrors are important, along with trusting yourself and others enough to BE WHO YOU TRULY ARE. We have the power to change what we don’t like about ourselves and strengthen our weaknesses, but never let those facades that we put on for people or to even make you feel better about yourself stop you for LOVING YOU TRULY.

Lady Tina Armstrong has done an amazing job over the years I have known her bringing women together with lessons geared towards purpose, having a plan and mindset to live out the plans God has set for you. I have seen relationships form and grow through her events, planners, and prayers. I want to give a shout out to her and her AMAZING team. Each one of these women are not only backing the ministries and endeavors for each other, but they are, also, pushing their own ministries and doing incredible jobs. To all of those ladies, I salute you and keep up the great work! I see you, sis! Be Blessed.

Events, Motivation & Inspiration, Purpose, Self-Love

New Year, Better Me: It’s All In The Bag

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Hello world!! Happy New Year!!! It’s 2023 and I am ECSTATIC about what this new year is going to bring. It has been a loooooong while since I’ve written here, but NEVERTHELESS, here we are! The Vision Blogger is here again!

My last blog post was written in May of 2021. WHEW! What a journey I have been on since then! I have crossed many bridges, conquered even more mountains, and God has continuously kept me alive and my mind intact. I’ve sprouted a few new strings of grey hair and cut most of it off (I still can’t believe I did that one) but God has been faithful. Thank you, Lord!

Where did I leave off? I was released from my job assignment with the county in April of 2021. I worked solely on my business up until September of last year when a work-from-home job almost fell into my lap. Literally. I accepted the position with the intent to continue to focus on my business as much as possible. *I dare not give up on my dreams ever again for a job.* So, while working for this company, adding a few more business ventures, along with writing books (which I released my first word search puzzle on Amazon here) and being a mother, I continued to serve in ministry. Needless to say, I am a very busy woman. Now, the issue I have with being busy is making sure I’m being productive. Productivity is not only what I produce with my hands, but what I produce in my mind, body, and spirit. I, sometimes, focus so much on producing with my hands, that I neglect what matters the most. So, when I was invited to the New Years’ Eve Purpose Brunch by Lady Tina Armstrong, I cleared my entire day to take time for myself and focus on what God wanted to say at that moment.

I was the first one at the location because I wanted to get there to take a few pictures and drop off some items Lady Tina asked me to bring. As I entered the front door, I was given a SUPERWOMAN box of goodies, a purpose planner/journal/devotional/everything to help you get through the year, and a pair of cozy socks. Lady Tina had me remove my shoes, put on the socks, and allowed me to make myself at home. She was still in the kitchen cooking and prepping for the other guests to arrive. I did as requested. I kicked my feet up and prepared my heart and my mind for what was to come.

As I sat on the cozy couch, in my comfy socks, that moment brought back memories of going to my grandparent’s house for Thanksgiving, which had been years since my grandmother has not been able to cook for us after having to live with dementia. I felt at home. I made up my mind right then, this was a safe space. As the other ladies started to mosey in, introductions were made, hugs and kisses were exchanged, and conversations about seating arrangements through laughter filled the room. Brunch was served. As you can see, there was a SPREAD. You had fried chicken wings, seasoned potatoes garnished with fixings, grits, eggs, biscuits and gravy. WHEW! I got excited all over again. Not only was there good food, but your favorite choice of juice was available with champagne to make a sweet mimosa. This wasn’t Thanksgiving dinner, but it definitely was the breakfast I wish I would’ve had the morning of.

With our bellies full, it was time to go to work. For our first activity, we were given white bags and instructed, by Lady Kenisha Malone, to decorate this bag however you would like to, might I add, without knowing what the purpose was in the end. I drew a complete blank as to what I wanted this bag to say or have on it. The first thing that came to my mind was “Only The Beginning” because this was my beginning. The beginning of focusing on the moment and taking better care of myself. I placed those words in the middle, drew a few flowers to represent growth, and wrote my name on the back. After making this bag ready for display, I was told to take some sticky notes and write down my “baggage”, which were things I wanted to leave in 2022. I dug real deep inside of me to those secret places to pull out “the baggage”. I learned quickly these bags were not going to be for display, but was reminded that this is what we do with our baggage. We put on these facades to display “everything is alright” or “I’m good” or “I’m not hurting”, so no one will see what we are dealing with or what we are carrying. After filling these bags with our baggage, we were forced to crush it. My beautifully decorated bag full of things I felt made me who I was or comfortable at one time or another was headed for disposal. This was only the beginning.

Now, let’s get into this purpose planner/journal/devotional/everything to help you get through the year. Lady Tina hit the motherload with this one. This book was not just your ordinary planner. This book had scriptural-based meditation pages for a daily devotion, letters of encouragement from the SUPERWOMAN herself to get you through the day, week, or month, pages to write out your prayers, coloring pages to decompress from heavy days, and everything else to discover WHO YOU ARE, WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, and WHY. Yes, it’s a lot to take in and digest, but it’s so necessary.

Throughout the pages of this planner, it helps you write it out. I don’t know about you, but my thoughts are so much clearer on paper. There are even times when I don’t even know what to write about, but this book opens that dialogue within yourself that allows you to discover or rediscover YOU. There were other pages that made you think about who you are and what you really want. There was a page for you to write a letter to your future self. This page stuck out to me the most. I really had to think about where I see myself in years to come to be able to write to that person. I believe this book is perfect for anyone looking to learn, grow, and evolve.

Lady Tina took us through a few vital pages through the planner. Together, we completed these pages to the best of our ability and some of us shared what we wrote. We talked about one thing we could do that day to improve ourselves, one thing we would tell our teenage selves, our biggest inspirations, strengths, and weaknesses. Tears flooded this living room as we shared our thoughts. Through these tears, there were moments of reflection, encouraging words exchanged, love and understanding was dispensed. There was no judgement or shame about what we had been through or the damage others or ourselves had caused. We were in the LIVING ROOM to share and/or empathize with our sisters who needed an uplifting word, advice, or just prayer as they completely gave God their YES. We weren’t only there for ourselves at this point. We were in this together.

It’s moments like these that help you understand a key factor about life: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It may feel like it because of what we see, but there is SOMEONE who understands where you are. A lot of times, when we are going through situations in life, we can feel like we are the only ones who have had the experience or understand our process. We might not have been the person it happened to or we might not have had the exact same details of the experience, but we share the emotions. That is one thing I love about God. Those tough circumstances don’t always feel good at the moment, but He makes it very clear that every test and trial serves a purpose. It might not be for you, but it can definitely be used for someone else. He’ll place you in LIVING ROOMS, even if it’s your own, to minister to a group of women who need to be freed by your testimony or granted strength in knowing they can be completely healed from past hurts, love after being taken advantage of, or overcome any and all situations.

The theme for this brunch was butterflies. Upon my research, according to PBS, “Butterflies are one of the most diverse and most recognizable creatures in the insect world. They are famous for their symmetrical wings that often display amazing colors and patterns. But the life of a butterfly is far more than their beautiful wings. The butterfly’s life is one of complex change.” In a nutshell, the butterfly lays very small eggs that are so small you can’t even see them without a magnifying glass. The eggs are placed under a leaf until it hatches into a caterpillar that now uses the leaf that once covered him, for nourishment. The caterpillar continues to eat and grow, shedding layers of skin throughout its time until it can’t grow anymore. Then the caterpillar finds a safe space to create a cocoon until it is ready to break free. When the adult butterfly is released from the cocoon, their wings unfold and it’s ready to fly to fend for itself, mate, and start the process all over again.

I related our lives to a butterfly. We are eggs growing into babies in our mothers’ wombs, considered the covering, only able to be seen by a special machine called an ultrasound. We are under this covering until the birthing time where we become caterpillars, feeding from who gave us covering or any person God places in our path to provide nourishment. We eat and grow until it’s time for us to find our secret, safe space to privately deal within ourselves until it’s time for us to be revealed to the world covered in bright, unique colors. The beauty about each of us is that everyone’s time is different. Everyone’s path to birth and growth is different, but we all have our moment to be presented to those who will receive enlightenment from our process or our wings. Be Blessed and never stop flying.

Events, Motivation & Inspiration, Purpose, Vision

I’m Pursuing Purpose

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I started blogging in March of 2015. You can read about my start in my first blog post here. Before I became “The Vision Blogger”, I was the “Woman on Purpose, Pregnant with Destiny”. At that time, my family and I took a great loss the month before and I truly had no sense of direction. I knew I was here on earth for a purpose, but I truly didn’t know what it was. When I started having the idea of planning Vision Board parties and was given the new assignment of pushing Vision, it became my focus, my target. You swear my life became “Pee-Wee’s Playhouse”. Vision is my word-of-the-day every day. So, I felt I have my target. I have my focus. Now what?

I’m an “Idea Chick”, which means I have tons of ideas, things I want to do in life, but at times I feel like I have no follow-through. It’s not because I don’t want to do these things or work hard towards completing them, it’s just I have a lot on my plate, so things tend to take a backseat at times to what is most important in that moment. I’ll have an idea all day long, while I’m at work, driving, talking to someone, but I’ll write it down and never go back to it.

On Saturday, I started a “5-Week Course to Pursuing Your Purpose” hosted by Evangelist Tina Armstrong, who I’ve worked with on several events you can read about here. The course came with a workbook with tons of activities and great reads about things we go through in regards to doing what we are supposed to be doing in life. Through the first session, I found out I have “Shiny Object Syndrome”. “Think of a small child who’s happily playing with a toy—until their eye catches something shiny and new in the corner. What happens? In all likelihood, they promptly abandon whatever they were just playing with in order to go over and grab that irresistible shiny object.” In my case, I found out it wasn’t so much of being distracted by only something shiny and new, but also, what was easier for me to handle. I started writing a book a few years ago and stopped because I got stuck. So, here comes planning Vision Board parties. I started planning a “Mother-Daughter Tea Party”, which turned into me planning something else, but I talked myself out of it thinking, “well, everybody does that.” “Who would even come?” Then, here comes becoming the Ministry leader of the Singles’ Ministry at my church, where I have a strong core team, which made it easier for me to deal with saying yes. So, yes, I love getting ideas and having dreams to do this and that, but I’ll put the idea or the dream down if something else is presented that is easier for me to follow-through on.

After knowing about my syndrome setback, there is now “The Failure to Launch”, which goes back to my way of the thinking while I was planning the tea party. It’s truly never giving the idea or dream a chance to be the BIG thing you know it can be once it’s placed on the inside of you. Now I have to be honest with myself. I had the fear of failing. I had the fear of things not going the way I planned it. I had the fear of no one showing up. I had the fear of no one supporting or understanding the Vision. But I was advised through my workbook, “If you never launch, you can never fail. But by not launching you’re not giving yourself the opportunity to succeed. Moreover, you’re not giving yourself the chance to learn. To learn what it’s like to launch.” This is me. Often times, I’ll talk myself out of doing many things for what can seem like foolish reasons when all I needed to do was take the next step. Complete the one thing, then move to the next thing. It’s AMAZING how almost everything spoken about in our first session was confirmed by my Pastor through his message on Sunday titled “I Thank God That The Promises Are Still Yes” from II Corinthians 1:20. You can listen to the recorded broadcast here.

Through this session, I identified behaviors I need to drop because it’s hindering my pursuit purpose. Number one is being fearful of it not working the way I want it. Number two is procrastination. Number three is not using my time wisely. I am dropping these behaviors because my life depends on it to keep moving forward towards my Vision coming to pass. I’m going to replace the behaviors I’m dropping with using my time more wisely by fully utilizing my many planners, working harder towards the ultimate goal of the task I am working on and believing in myself more that what needs to be done will be completed.

As you can see, this one session was FULL of important information to push me further and further towards pursuing purpose and I can honestly say, I don’t want to miss any of the other sessions. I believe this course is truly purposeful. You will not walk out of the building without some type of motivation and inspiration to build your tenacity to PUSH towards what God has put on the inside of you for the world to see. Remember, someone is waiting on you.

You can find Lady Tina Armstrong on Facebook and Instagram. She also has planners and other life-changing workbooks along with a host of events that Push Purpose.