I allowed you to enter through my heart this time, thinking things just might be different this go ‘round.
You entered through each receiving chamber while breaking down every layer I built with straw.
You flowed freely through my veins, calmly as a stream that lead through my entire body straight to my mind.
You conquered every wave of me, effortlessly, like a captain sailing a ship in well-known waters,
Knowing exactly where to turn, exactly where to slow down, and exactly where to land.
“I love you,” you’d say, with confidence I had never imagined I could fathom.
The words would enter my ear canal, straight to my heart, where each time you say it, the phrase stamps to it like it would a passport,
To remind me of the places you send me, the promises you make, my soul and breath you take.
The last time you said this phrase was followed by the conjunction, “But”.
“But” held so much weight, my body started to shake, not knowing what would come next.
“I need space.”
Space?
Space to do what?
“Just space to get my mind together.”
Because of the love I have for you, I grant your wish, while I begin to rebuild the layers of my heart no longer with straw, now with bricks.
~The Vision Blogger~
We begin at a slow pace, close to the middle but not quite there yet. As you gaze lovingly into my eyes, telling me what I want to hear, you spin us slowly with your foot hanging off the side. Having full control now, you’re to your feet spinning me faster and faster, but instead of love in your eyes, there’s fear. Fear of allowing me to make it to that middle chamber which holds the very depth of you, your heart under lock and key. I look away as to not become distracted for the task at hand, to stand as we spin. Stand for you, stand for me, stand for us. Your heart, I hold the key but I’m getting sick to get to this lock. If I can just get there, the fear would cease, I pray. As I build up my strength to take step by step, you’re no longer focused on me. Your hands are in your pockets. You’re walking away until your body is now dark. I spin and spin as it starts to rain, light showers, light thunder, but I sit now just waiting for you to come back and ride with me. Now the ride has completely stopped and all sickness and dizziness relieved. I make my way to the chamber to find there’s no heart, no lock, no key. The very thing I struggled for, became sick for, fought like hell for, compromised myself and what I believe in for, is gone. Then, in the distance there’s a light. The light appears to be similar to my previous designation, another chamber, but it has no lock, the door is open, just open. I step off the ride with no hesitation, no thoughts besides just getting there. As I get closer, I see the chamber is on another ride and you’re there spinning another round, gazing lovingly into her eyes, telling her what she wants to hear with your foot hanging off the side.
Heartbreak, just like Love, is universal. Everyone has experienced it. Some of us have experienced it from family, a significant other, and, even our children. From my own experience, I believe, the biggest issue I may possess is I put a lot of trust and faith in people. I’m the type of person where I always “give the benefit of the doubt”. I have found this to be a blessing and a curse, at times. There’s a blessing in giving people a chance. Sometimes that chance may have been just what they needed to move forward. Now, that chance can be beneficial to you or a life-learned lesson for you, either way that lesson hurt and maybe even more because you took that chance, even after being hurt previously. What I’ve learned through this process is it never stops us from trying again. No matter how many pieces the heart may break into, I’m learning it can always be mended and there’s ALWAYS a blessing believing that much. The featured poets wrote about different types of Heartbreak that we all have felt at one point in time or, even, right at this very moment. Enjoy.
The Vision Blogger 